The Zanarkand Dental Group
by SpazKit
Summary: Oh my god. This is so stupid. But it's fun to write! Poor Tidus... (and me) Glasses of Doooommmmm!
1. Default Chapter

I think I'm blurring the line between Mine and Tidus's predicament here. Ah well. I don't think I was that mouthy, though. Even though he'll never read this, this is dedicated to my wonderful dentist. I felt nothing during my canal, though it hurts like a bitch at the moment. Um. the glasses thing? *in story* That actually happened.o_0  
  
  
  
The Zanarkand Dental Group  
  
  
  
"Boy, if you don't stop fidgeting, I am /going/ to do something you'll regret," Auron warned, glaring at the sixteen year old quivering beside him. Tidus didn't say anything, but dropped his head into his hands, his mop of blond hair pouring over his fingertips. Auron rolled his eye and grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"Oh, /sure/, Auron, be like that. It's not like you're about to have major surgery on /your/ mouth, old man," Tidus moaned, not bothering to lift his head. They were seated at the local dentist's office, the absolute last place Tidus wanted to be in the entire universe. Well, no, that wasn't true. That one new girl on the Abe's practice team? The really annoying one that had an overly obvious crush on him? Alright, maybe her bedroom was the absolute last place in the world. He could imagine himself, duck-taped to her chair or something.  
  
"Well," Auron broke through his thoughts, "If you'd stop drinking that vile syrupy goo every day, morning noon and night."  
  
"Auron, it's /soda!/ Everybody drinks it fer cryin' out loud."  
  
"Odd, I don't see anyone else in here waiting for-"  
  
"Ok, Ok? Shut up now? Thank you? God." Tidus moaned, one knee bouncing insanely against his elbow.  
  
Honestly. Auron sighed again, feeling unbidden pity for his charge. "It won't be that bad, boy. What did the doctor say? The nerve was hurting? That's why you're in pain, correct?"  
  
"Yea," Tidus mumbled from his palms. "It hurts like all hell after they filled my last cavity-" Auron cleared his throat, but Tidus ignored him, "so they're gonna take my nerve out."  
  
"So. If they take out the part that hurts, then you won't feel any pain. Why are you so worried again?"  
  
Tidus sighed in exasperation. That man was just dumb to modern technology.  
  
"Imagine," Tidus hissed, rapidly lifting his face, coming inches to Auron's collar, "A big, nice drill going through your tooth and into your gum, /underneath/ the tooth. Spinning round' and round, tearing. grinding." All the while, the boy spinning one finger before the elder man's face. Much to his pleasure, Tidus caught the minuscule shudder that ran the length of Auron's body.  
  
The young blitzer's lecture was cut short when a tall bond woman in purple scrubs came forward from the counter.  
  
"Tidus?" She asked, though there were only two people in the waiting area. Tidus shuddered and whimpered, his angry resolve turning chicken shit. Auron cleared his throat, and patted the boy's cheek.  
  
"Good luck, then. Think about something else while they're. working," Auron offered. Tidus glared at him. Well, Braska said he was horrible at comforting people in times of great personal pain.  
  
Tidus stifled his whine and tried to stop shaking as he was lead into the office. A kindly man greeted him, a small smile on his face.  
  
"Hello Tidus," Dr. Gilmer said, standing aside so that the boy could sit in the ominous chair.  
  
"Hi," the boy said softly, folding his hands in his lap. As the dentist sat beside him, Tidus stole a look to his right. and felt his heartbeat quicken. A tray of long, spiraled drill bits was resting to his right, each piece of metal long and sharp, about 1 ½ inches long.  
  
"It's all right," Dr. Gilmer said, watching the boy's eyes widen at his arsenal of tools. "I'll make sure you won't feel it at all."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"It'll be just like when I filled you cavity. No pain, I promise."  
  
Feeling a little better, Tidus breathed deeply, though he could not stop his legs from shaking. Oh, the bravery here.  
  
The dentist started humming, his voice somewhat relaxing, though not much. The assistant reached over to grab what was know to Tidus as The Big Friggin Shot needle. Crap. Crapcrapcrapcrap..  
  
The dentist wiggled his cheek with one hand while administering the Novocain in the other. Well. damn. Tidus didn't feel it at all. Ok. This was workable.  
  
And that was the last thing he felt. Was he saw, on the other hand, that was a different story all together.  
  
  
  
  
  
I have more, but um I need sleep. This is the most retarded story I've ever written.. But it's fun! ^-^ 


	2. Glasses of Dooomm!

And now… the horror…. No, I didn't pass out or anything. Just the thought of   
Tidus doing a girlie scream makes me snigger though.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
  
Tidus was shaking. A lot. His hands were folded in his lap, but clenched.   
  
Auron's right, he thought. I am chicken shit sometimes.   
  
Beside him, his dentist hummed softly to the music playing quietly in the   
background. Tidus was aware of the pressure being exerted in his mouth, but no   
pain. Thank God. No pain. Pain is bad.   
  
Dr. Gilmer brought a gloved hand to his jaw, gently pressing on the bone. A   
tearing sound entered Tidus's ears as a pressure was felt in his jaw. It's wasn't   
painful, but he could feel… something. Weird. As the dentist removed the tool   
being used, Tidus stole a glance.  
  
A screw. A copper colored, spiraled drill bit, 2 inches long.   
  
/THEY WERE TWO INCHES IN HIS JAW?!/  
  
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…  
  
"You can't feel anything, right?" the Dr. asked as he placed another tool on the   
drill. Tidus tried to swallow, but failed, his mouth numb. He weakly shook his   
head. The light from the lamp above was a pleasant thing to look at, as opposed   
to the things… being shoved in his…  
  
Don't think about it. Nopenopenope. Hi Mr. Light. I should've taken te gas. Then I   
wouldn't be aware of all this…  
  
Tidus squinted, notin movement above him. Dr. Gilmer's head moved back and   
forth, from his mouth to utensiles the assistant was handig him. The octor's   
glasses flashed, reflecting the light as he moved. Then, as the dentist looked   
down again…  
  
Tidus saw the inside of his mouth reflected in those glasses.  
  
In the waiting room, Auron was flipping through a magazine when a blood-curling   
scream erupted through the office. Alarmed, the red-robed guardian stood and   
walked towards the front desk.  
  
"Is he alright?" Auron asked the secretary. She stood and disappeared behind   
the back doorway. She returned a few moments later.  
  
"Apparently, he just passed out. Dr. Gilmer doesn't know why, but he needs to   
finish the procedure or else the boy will be in a lot of pain when the Novocain   
wears off."  
  
"Oh," Auron said uncertainly.   
  
Tidus was flooaattiinnggg…. Flooaattiinnggg….   
  
And then there was light.  
  
"Boy," someone said gruffly, shaking his shoulder. Dammit, leave me alone!   
Tidus thought, I'm Flooaattiinngg and it's fuunnnnn….  
  
"Tidus!"  
  
Snapping his eyes open, Tidus stared up into the faces of Dr. Gilmer and Auron.  
  
"Wath?" he asked, disoriented.  
  
"We can go home now."  
  
"Oh, Oqie," the boy burbled, his tongue lax and unresponsive. "Where am I?"  
  
"The dentist."  
  
"Wahy?"  
  
"Root canal," Dr. Gilmer said. Root canal…. Oh gods! HIS POOR MOUTH!  
  
"Tidus, Tidus! Stop screaming for Yevon's sakes!" Auron barked, grabbing the   
boy's shoulders from behind.   
  
"Wholths! Three wholths! Blooood! Hugth! My toooothhhhh… gonge!" Tidus   
whimpered, pointed at Dr. Gilmer's head. "I thaw it… in your glathes…"  
  
"Reflected in my /glasses/?" The dentist said in disbelief. "And you passed out?"  
  
"Ummm…"  
  
"Can we go now?" Auron said, yanking the boy to his feet.   
  
"Buth I /hathe/ blood…" Tidus said softly, allowing Auron to drag him out of the   
office.  
  
"No chewing on that side for a week," the dentist instructed Auron, "And then he   
has to come back for a permanent filling in two weeks. See you then." Auron   
nodded, taking the bill printout. Halfway out the door, Auron stopped dead.   
  
"Wath ith it?"  
  
Auron said nothing, but leaned heavily on the doorframe, mouth gaping open.   
Tidus pulled the paper from his mentor's hand and read the bill-  
  
Over 800 dollars.  
  
Tidus did what any normal boy would do. He took off running, Auron in tow.  
  
"No fair! Noth fair! My mouth ith numb!" Tidus cried, running as fast as he could   
towards home.  
  
"Your mouth has nothing to do with your legs, boy! You're dead!" Auron hissed   
after him, slower but his anger spurring him on.  
  
Tidus spent the majority of that evening pouring out the two liters of pop in the   
fridge, Auron watching like a hawk over his shoulder.   
  
  
The end. 


End file.
